Back Like I Never Left: Life Update
First and foremost, it’s been too long since I’ve written a blog post, but it’s okay!!! Consider this something like a life update on what I’ve been up to, not up to, and things that have my heart smiling these days. Deal? Deal
In March I celebrated my thirty seventh birthday. I literally spent the day laying in bed thinking about life and the future, and it was the best day ever. I soaked in every minute of just being still and being alone with my thoughts. I ended my day with ice cream and I couldn’t have asked for a more quiet yet beautiful day.
It’s crazy to think that just a year ago this time we were smack dab in the middle of a pandemic. For some of us the walls were starting to close in on us as the days passed by. For others, there was loss and grief. I’ve talked to many who have shared with me that the pandemic forced them to slow down, love harder, and evaluate some things. Whatever category you may fall in, if you’re reading this, I think it’s safe to say we’re more than blessed to have air in our lungs! Whew
So what’s up with little old me? Let’s talk about it….
Creative Freedom
In the last year or so i’ve often referred to myself as an “inspiring influencer.” From the photoshoots to buying clothes I haven’t worn anywhere except on the gram (rolls eyes), and even doing all the things I’m supposed to do, like getting a media kit, I started to feel burn out. It became overwhelming financially and honestly, it felt like the pursuit of growth was overshadowing the love I have for simply creating. What really made me take a step back and evaluate how I wanted to show up for myself as a creative was my desire to get back to why I even have a social media presence in the first place, which is to encourage.
I hope that one day I can find the perfect balance of writing, encouraging, and creating cool things. I know its possible because there are many out there who are doing it and doing it well. I haven’t found my sweet spot yet but I’m hopeful I will. In the meantime, it feels good to simply create because it brings me joy. Frankly, it feels good to do the things that set my soul on fire without thinking about algorithms or engagement or likes. Something tells me that by showing up as my authentic self and putting things out into the world that hopefully bring some love and light to this world, that I will indeed find my groove with everything God has called me to do.
Happy Heart
On even more personal note, one thing I wasn’t looking for or expecting, especially during a pandemic, was meeting someone who would bring so much joy to my life. Let’s just say he’s an unexpected blessing that makes my heart smile bigger than it ever has in my entire life. What I love most about this relationship is the freedom to show up as myself. That’s significant for me because never have I ever been able to just be myself in a relationship. As we continue to learn each other I am learning things about myself I didn’t quit see before. I guess a relationship will do that when you’ve been single for as long as I’ve been! (insert chuckle). I’m enjoying the ride and my heart is happy.
What’s Next
There are many things I hope and pray for over my life but one that means a lot to me is to constantly evolve. I don’t want to be the same person from year to year. I don’t want to handle problems the same or see life through the same lense. I’m learning the value of forgiving others even when they haven’t apologized. I’m learning the value of letting go of the past so that my mind and heart are in a position to hear from God. I want more wisdom. I want more discipline. I can look back over my life and so clearly identify habits I no longer want to posses. There are certain struggles I want to leave in my past and mindsets I never want to subscribe to ever again in life. There are business ideas I’m tired of talking about and life goals that require me to put my head down and get to work.
Y’all, I’m ready to do the work, so let’s go!
(keep reading)
I usually do a a blog post specifically dedicated to my birthday. Since that time has come and gone I still wanted to share some things the last year and some change have taught me. I hope it encourages someone to live well, trust the plans that God has, and realize that none of us have it all together. We are all literally a work in progress, if we choose to be.
Don’t let this world tell you what you’re supposed to be doing at a certain age. Focus on living the life God wants you to live.
In this life we will have to have difficult conversations at times. Don’t shy away from it and always speak up for yourself (in love).
Always keep it real with yourself. Self awareness can and always will be a game changer. Without it we won’t ever be able to show up as our true authentic selves.
I’ve seen friendships become non-existent in the last year and people I’ve never met on the internet support me daily. It’s okay to grieve a friendship that no longer exists and it’s okay to soak in genuine love and support from people you may never meet in person.
We can show up as whoever we want to on the internet. We get to control that narrative but one thing is for certain, there is something about living in the pursuit of real joy and hope and peace and love. Let’s make sure to show up as we are in every room and every space we occupy.
Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things….
K R Y S T L E
